Well, with another v-day (see: http://www.vday.org/home) recently behind us, I wanted to do a post about domestic violence.  By now, most of you are probably aware of the link between animal abuse and spousal/child abuse so I won’t bore you with statistics about how those who hit a defenseless animal are many more times likely to hit their children and spouses too….

What I want to bring up is that in the years I’ve been involved in rescue, I have seen many many more women rescuing and rehabilitating animals than men.  In fact, I’d take a guess and say for every 19 women I know in rescue, there is one man – sometimes the gap is even larger than that.   Some would argue that this is because women are, by nature, the more compassionate and nurturing gender but I can’t say that I agree with that.

What I have observed is that people (women and men) who have overcome hardships in their own lives are better able to associate with the suffering of others – in this case, animals.   We have quite a few women in our group who have survived the wrath of an abuser themselves – it’s no wonder they are drawn to comfort the other innocents who, like them, have suffered a life of unnecessary pain and misfortune.  These women are the strongest people I know. 

Below is a poem written by another rescuer about why she rescues and I thought it would be worthwhile to share.  I know a couple of rescue volunteers who are still battling with abusive spouses (be it mental or physical) – despite their own personal hardships, they’re still willing to give and help when they’re able to.  Seeing them go above and beyond for an animal in need, despite what they deal with behind closed doors and the inner turmoil they struggle with daily, is incredible - I dedicate this post to them because they are true heroes in my eyes.

Why I Relate to Animals

 Posted by Marcie Tepper of TLC Chow Rescue

Any woman who has allowed a man to beat her has so much humiliation it becomes a deep, dark secret. To think that they would allow another human being to do such cruel things is incomprehensible to others. Once they escape that cycle it takes years to heal, but heal I have, and it is all in thanks to the many animals who have come into my life to fill the void and teach unconditional love.

My collarbone was broken with a shove to the ground
 Couldn’t tell a sole, so I didn’t get it bound
So now it is healed with a great big knot there
Every day it reminds me that he didn’t really care.

In the middle of the winter he pushed me outside
Didn’t dare wake the neighbors so I stood there and cried
I will never forget being chilled to the core
Or hearing the click as he locked up the door.

He slapped me so hard that my eardrum did pop
And all of a sudden my hearing did stop
A new one the doctors put into my head
The way it had happened was just left unsaid.

Why let a person do such things to me?
It was cruel and offensive, of that we agree
I married a man while I was still but a child
Then was told by my Mom not to get him so riled.

I was led to believe it was all my own fault
I should have held my tongue, left the words in a vault
When he hit me and kicked me and broke of my ribs
I would make up some story, I would tell lots of fibs.

I promised my children, who wanted to believe
That the next time he hit me we’d pack up and leave
But then he would threaten that he’d take them away
He told me that it was the price I would pay.

I was locked in a room with the phone cords torn out
He was afraid that I might give authorities a shout
I felt like an animal so helpless and trapped
All of my self esteem had surely been zapped.

Why do I save animals, many people ask
Why do I feel it’s a God given task?
I look in their eyes and see myself there
The hopeless, the helpless, with no one to care.

To put it in words would be hard to describe
The gain of their trust I rarely have to bribe
They can tell that at some point I felt as they do
I can tell by their look they are saying thank you.

Today I am strong, yet untrusting of man
But for animals I will do everything that I can
The trust they have taught me, the love they bestow
It’s almost as if through my blood it does flow.

It’s a passion unlike any other I’ve known
I never feel lonely out here on my own
I’ve even forgiven the man who hurt me
It was the only way to let my spirit set free.

How humiliating to think I allowed it at all
But with no self esteem and the children so small
I decided to stay and take what I got
But since they’re all grown I’ll get a new shot.

In my mind I’ve been able to separate my life
The old one filled with darkness and strife
The new one filled with such goodness and joy
Too precious to ever let a person destroy.

I may spend the rest of my life all alone
For mistakes that I made I am trying to atone
The comfort I find with my four legged friends
Give me all the love I need while I make my amends.

 

If you or someone you know is being abused, please don’t hesitate to get help.

Learn more at: http://www.ndvh.org/

In Montgomery County, the Women’s Center provides an emergency hotline, confidential counseling, and even shelter.  And Menergy assists the offenders with counseling.

http://www.wcmontco.org/ and http://www.menergy.org/